People, Animals, and Inanimate Objects That Made Me Angry After My Rape

by Lee Reubens

My rapist: for obvious reasons.

My rapist’s girlfriend: for not believing me.

The Assistant District Attorney: for making me feel like I’d actually accomplished something by successfully convincing him that I wasn’t lying.

Everyone who was at my house while it happened: for not being able to stop it even though it wasn’t their fault.

My boyfriend at the time: for saying he’d break up with me unless I went to the police. For going on vacation a week later. And for not being there when it happened even though that part wasn’t his fault.

My friend at the time: for saying that my rapist had touched her in her sleep, but then not filling out a police report even though my detective said it would be a good way to keep his file open.

Myself: for being angry.

My room: for not being a safe space at all.

All men, no exceptions: for obvious reasons.

Fox News: for obvious reasons.

The Earth: for obvious reasons.

My cat: for not being a person.

My television remote: for always getting lost at the worst times.

My one sock: seriously fuck washing socks.

My new dryer bag: I can’t believe I spent money on this.

Feminist bloggers: seriously why don’t you get what pain is?

Anyone successful: seriously why are you so happy when other people are so sad?

The air: you are filled with radioactive poisoning and no one knows.

The sky: you are so blue you remind me of the word blue which in turn, makes me blue.

The ocean: same.

My sense of humor: for disappearing.

Time: for not really healing all wounds though I’m open to working together in the future.

Lee R. is a student, internet feminist, reader, record collector, and lover of her future dog, wherever she is.