“If her parents love you: She loves you, probably.”

Question: How do I know if a girl loves me or not? — Ajay

Answer: If one night you go out drinking and end up back at her place, pass out together on the bed with your shoes on, and wake up a few hours later only to discover that you’ve peed the bed, which she takes in stride, changes the sheets, and then the next morning has a laugh about it, later leaves some pamphlets from the local health clinic about child bedwetters in your mailbox, and eventually after a few weeks tells your friends but never, ever tells hers: She loves you.

In case you weren’t around for the wild days of 2005, you might’ve missed Pasha Malla’s classic, lovely “Does She Love You,” which The Morning News relinked to this afternoon. The only part that maybe doesn’t hold up is [saves uncharitable thought for Mean Spirited Wednesdays].