On Female Desire, Part Two: Pornography

Dear Hairpin,
I think I’m interested in watching porn. Specifically, I’m interested in watching nice, non-violent, non-exploitative videos of men and women having consensual sex in a way that does not give false expectations about what sex should and shouldn’t be. Does this exist? Where can I find it? I realize the internet is full of porn, but I don’t think just Googling “porn” will get me what I’m looking for. Can I Google “nice, non-violent, non-exploitative videos of men and women having consensual sex in a way that does not give false expectations about what sex should and shouldn’t be”? I feel like that won’t work either. Also, I’m worried about computer viruses.

Fun question!

Lindsay Miller — a.k.a. A Queer Chick — had some good recommendations earlier this week. Also, and this isn’t a direct answer, but Nitasha Tiku’s piece on porn star and “not-so-nice Jewish boy” James Deen is a great read that opens a lot of porn portals (porntals?). I also threw the question over to Victoria Floethe, of the recently launched Desire Project. Victoria?

Victoria: I actually did a piece about this last week! And Cindy Gallop, founder of Make Love Not Porn.com, and who we interviewed for the website (see below), is soon launching Make Love Not Porn TV, which may be a really good answer to this question.

A young married couple from Brooklyn who make artful sex videos and seem to be on to something have reached out to us as well. And they wrote about what “good porn” is on their site Uncommon Appetites last week. My co-editor Kate and I recently found some hilarious vintage porn on Wikimedia, although it’s not exactly erotic. And the fashion-y Richardson Mag and Purple TV are putting out what I’d call “porn art.”

Previously: On Female Desire, Part One Plus Sheets (But Not Sheets Like This Morning).

Anyone else? It’s officially Ask Everyone Thursday around here today.