How Not to Order a Drink, Part Two

by Camille Santochi

Me: I’d like an old-fashioned please.

Bartender: What kind of bourbon?

Me: The middle kind.

Bartender: What?

Me: You know, not the cheap stuff, but not like REALLY expensive.

Bartender: What’s really expensive?

Me: I don’t want to spend more than 10 dollars.

Bartender: Well, okay, but that won’t get you good quality.

Me: Okay, okay, I’ll spend like 12 dollars.

Bartender: Fine, I’ll make it with [brand name I am unable to commit to memory].

Previously: Beer.

Camille Santochi is a reality television producer from Los Angeles. You can follow her on Twitter@omitofo or see where her cover band is playing next here.

Photo by dibrova, via Shutterstock