What Your Payment Method Reveals About You

by Erin Sullivan

Slinging your card down: You’ve definitely shoved a dog’s face away from you because “move.”

Slinging cash down: You’ve consumed alcohol that’s involved whipped cream in the past week.

Handing your card betwixt your pointer and middle fingers in a frisbee-throwing motion: You have a Netscape email account.

Handing your card Politician Hand style: You’ve watched YouTube videos on how to Dougie, but you would never Dougie in public.

Handing your card along with your driver’s license: Russell Brand both scares and entices you.

Using your Hello Kitty-themed card: You have many other credit cards.

Instinctively giving $22 on a $7 charge, or any other variation: You are up to something, and it’s something that causes people around you feel out of control of the world.

Handing crumpled bills from your pocket: You microwave eggs.

Stacking out quarters for something more than $5: A mention of the movie The Crow brings up strong feelings for you. You also do not have a Facebook.

Pushing quarters flat across the counter for something $3 or less: You know all the words to “Today Was a Good Day” by Ice Cube.

Handing a bag of nickels and dimes, uncounted: You are nine.

Using a $100 bill: You have a weirdly sparse condo. A lot of beige in there.

“Getting rid of some ones”: You have a Roth IRA.

“Sorry about the ones”: You constantly struggle with the decision to buy skinny jeans. You wonder if this is forever.

Erin Sullivan lives in Portland, Oregon.

Photo by Jonathan D. Wilson, via Shutterstock