La Rééducation Périnéale

“The therapist inserts two fingers into your wuzza and talks you through a series of exercises designed to give you better control over your muscles. Can you, for example, contract your vagina and pull her fingers in and up? You may find this cringingly embarrassing, especially when afterward she tells you, “C’est assez faible” (“It’s rather weak”) and that you’re going to need more than 10 sessions.”
 — And that is just the first of two methods the French use to “reeducate” your hoo-ha after childbirth. American Claire Lundberg gave birth in a French hospital where, luckily, the sessions are offered for free. [What are you doing riiight now?]