AHP, What’s Actually in Your Handbag Right Now?

by The Hairpin

Do you ever wonder what Anne Helen “Classic Scandals” Petersen carries around with her? (Are you ever *not* wondering about AHP?) In any case, AHP, what’s actually in your bag right now?

DISCLAIMER: Even though I work literally 100 yards from where I live, I still carry all sorts of stuff with me at all times. (In my once-pristine now-grimy cotton satchel from Etsy.) It should also become very clear very quickly that I am teacher and subject to weird teacher hoarding tendencies.

1. A mini-stapler, because students are allergic to stapling things. If you’re a student, you need to knock that off right now.

2. Tape, boring.

3. The debit card for my new bank account in my new town that I still haven’t activated after three months. What’s wrong with me? No seriously, why is it not even in my wallet?

4. A ramshackle list of students I was supposed to keep alive at some given point in time. Bygones.

5. Zeitoun, which I’m teaching in Class #1.

6. My once-pristine, now-grimy cotton satchel. (Maranda Lee’s Etsy creations are really quite wonderful when clean and not used out-of-season.)

7. Sharpies and Uni-Balls, Teacher’s Best Friends. You steal my Orange Vision Needle Fine Point and I’ll punch you in the throat. (Ed. note — AHP!)

8. Wallet that looks nice on the outside hiding disaster zone of receipts and dirty pennies on inside.

9. Dollar Dollar Bill Gloves, courtesy Target.

10. Iodine Tablets for purifying drinking water. WELL I LIVE IN VERMONT.

11. The Hairclip That Changed Everything. No seriously, this Medium Ficarre in Medium Brown is the best hairclip of all time. I think of my life in two chunks: Pre-Hairclip (Childhood) and Post-Hairclip (Grown Woman). It will make your hair look like it just stepped out of Downton Abbey even when you’re wearing snow boots and a poofy jacket, which is basically my uniform these days.

12. Mac Dongle.

13. Grizzly Man, which I’m teaching in Class #2.

14. Aveda Ceramic Roundbrush. On days when I forget The Clip, this is the only thing separating the state of my hair from the state of the students’ just-rolled-out-of-bed hair.

15. Adirondack Cranberry Lime Seltzer almost empty but not quite so maybe I’ll keep it in my bag just in case? New Englanders love them some seltzer.

Usually there are weird gum wrappers from a year ago — did you steal them all?

Anne Helen Petersen, where can we find the hairclip?