The Beautiful Lana Del Rey
It was many and many a week ago,
In a YouTube by the ‘net,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Lana Del Rey;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to sing and to videotape herself.
I was a blogger and she was an uploader,
In this YouTube by the ‘net;
But she did not know me, although that is okay-
I and my Lana Del Ray;
She had lips that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted, except the top one is fake, at least, and I’m not sure why it drives me so crazy, but it does, especially because in an interview she said they’re real.
And this was the reason (well, not exactly!) that, a week or two ago,
In this YouTube by the ‘net,
A meanness blew out of the websites, chilling
My beautiful Lana Del Rey;
So that her public relations people emailed around
Asking people to change their online content about her,
To prepare for her upcoming album release
In this YouTube by the ‘net.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying* her and … her alone, because almost no one envies bloggers-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this YouTube by the ‘net)
That the meanness came out of the websites by night,
Chilling and possibly killing the album sales of my Lana Del Rey.
*Again, not really! And Nitsuh Abebe’s review on Vulture is terrific.
But our love, it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the commenters down under the jump,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Lana Del Rey. She just doesn’t know it yet!
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Lana Del Rey;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Lana Del Rey;
And so, all the day- and night-tide, I read internet comments
Of my darling- my darling- my imaginary friend,
Wherever she lives, I think Brooklyn, too,
In an apartment with YouTube, on the internet.
Lana Del Rey’s debut album Born to Die is due out January 31.