Mini Ask a Lady: The Thank-You Note

by A Lady

My New Year’s resolution! It’s to start writing thank-you letters. I don’t write thank-you letters because I am a terrible person. And when I think about how I don’t write thank-you letters and how that makes me a terrible person, I get this crushing anxiety that totally dissuades me from actually doing anything to change it! (Crushing anxiety would probably be a bit of a melodramatic overstatement, but you know what I’m saying?) So! Do you know any tips for making writing thank-you notes easier/bearable/not just thank-you notes but Christmas cards! By next year, how can I become a person who sends out Christmas cards? I don’t know where everybody lives! I don’t know where anybody lives! Any suggestions for how I can stop having the worst etiquette?

You can’t see this, but I’m raising my eyebrows and looking at you, like, “Girl, just sit down and write thank-you notes!” And make Christmas cards, too, if you want — or maybe do a practice round with select friends at Valentine’s Day (Shutterfly is currently having a sale). To get your friends’ addresses, send out an email with a BCC list asking everyone where they live. If you then freak out (it sounds like the odds of that happening are perhaps higher than for most?) and don’t end up sending anyone anything, it’s highly unlikely your friends will be annoyed that you asked for their addresses, and then you’ll at least have them for the next go-round. And you’re not a terrible person, but you already knew that.

For thank-you cards, it’s useful to remember that you could smear mud across a card, and as long as it gets back to the gift-sender (and includes the words “thank” and “you”), you’re essentially in the clear. But a good thank-you card usually includes a cheery “thank you so much for the [thing]!” followed by some explanation of how you’ve been enjoying it, and a quick, personal, non-gift-related message to the sender. For instance: “Thank you so much for this letter to the Hairpin! It’s so sweet and nuts, and I love that you thought to send it to us. I hope you send lots of thank-you cards to your loved ones this week.”

Also: get pretty stationery! Then the desire to show off your pretty stationery, and the fact that you’re a woman who has pretty stationery, will nudge you in the right direction. (Paper Source has lots of lovely sets — so does Etsy.) Get stamps that … express you? That sounds silly, I know, but sometimes they do, in their way. Nice pens, all of that. It all helps. Pretend like you’re a woman in an old book, her skirts tucked beneath her, scribbling away in the flickering candlelight at some pretty, spindle-legged writing desk. Your correspondence.

And for holiday cards, machine-made photo-collages are great ways for people to keep up with one another’s growing pets/children/plants/shoe collections, but some of my favorite cards are the simple ones that’re just heavy-stock postcards with a handmade print on the front (or a stamp), a hand-written greeting message, and a quick note. “Mini Lady, Best wishes for the new year.” It’s the prettiest thing on my card “mantle” (windowsill) right now.

A Lady is one of several rotating ladies who know everything. Do you have any questions for A Lady?

Photo by Fenton one, via Shutterstock