Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Drinks That We Drank

Single and looking to find a date: Whiskey, neat.

Single, and looking to hook up with someone, anyone: Long Island Ice Tea.

First date: A Martini, straight up and dirty.

Second date: Red wine, with dinner. (A Merlot, or a Pinot Noir.) …

Hairpin pal Chiara Atik tells the cyclical story of love and loss in units of alcohol, with a notable omission.