More-Accurate Bath & Body Works Fragrance Names

By The Hairpin December 8, 2011

by Elizabeth Oporto

Sex With Someone Who Doesn’t Like Me

All I’ve Eaten Today Are Six Almonds and Some Cheetos Dust

I Wish I Could Walk in Heels

These Braces Are Ruining My Life

I Only Shop Here Because My Mother-in-Law Shows Her Disdain By Giving Me Gift Cards to This Store

I Still Don’t Have Boobs

Pop Tarts for Dinner, Again

I’d Rather Be a Mean Girl

I’ve Been Listening to the Same Taylor Swift Song on Repeat Since Yesterday

Maybe If I Smell Like Slutty V8 He’ll Like Me Better

I’d Rather Eat a Can of Frosting, But I’ll Settle For Smelling Like I Did

All the Condoms Under My Sink Are Expired

Sometimes I Feel Stupid for Just Saying No

My Boyfriend Won’t Use a Coaster

I Have to Use Internet Explorer at Work

My Secret Crush Is Matt Lauer

French Kissing Scares Me

I Ran Out of Deodorant

This Is Better Than Smelling Like Chips and Salsa on a First Date

Elizabeth Oporto lives in Brooklyn and never wears perfume.

1. Bye