The Best Time I Met Robyn

I met Robyn last night, you guys. THE Robyn. No, there are no pictures. She actually got pulled away during our conversation a few times to get her photo taken by professionals, or whatever, and then I felt too embarrassed to ask, but believe me I wanted to!

So how it happened was I went to see my friend Ayres DJ what ended up being a pretty great party along with this kid Lunice who I knew and would annoyingly mother when I lived in Montreal a few years ago. Back then he was a tiny baby DJ/producer/dancer/weirdo and now he is a full grown one and pretty much the best thing to go see live. Go see him. Anyway, he’s like on or getting on Mad Decent or something now so Diplo walked in (SO MANY NAMES ARE ON THE FLOOR, JANE!) wiiith… Robyn. And I turned to Ayres and said “RobynRobynRobynRobynLOOKLOOKLOOKLOOK” but then she stayed, so I could quit saying it.

Here is what she looked like: Perfect. She looked exactly like in her videos. Liiike, tall platform brogues, leggings, a sweatshirty type top, freshest perfect haircut, perfect face that was older than I imagined in a good way, and plus she was miniature.

About ten minutes after she walked in, I approached her at the bar, like a boss. I am 100% sure my breath smelled TERRIBLE from wine and/or whiskey so she probably couldn’t hear me because I was turning my disgusting face away from her the whole time, but I said, “Hi! I’m Jane” and we shook hands.

Then I told her about The Hairpin and how Edith is obsessed with her, but no really we all are. “You are the best! Amazing! Ah, we love you sooo much.” And then I said she should check us out, “The Hairpin, like for your hair.” And then we chatted about what the site is and then she said “I think you would like my friend’s blog.” She told me the name of it literally three times because it was so loud in there, plus the accent. I could hear “something-something-two-faced-something.” And then she got pulled away but was gracious about it, of course.

Even in the moment I was thinking “Fuuuck, that’s a brand name of a makeup plus also a really common thing to write, I’m never going to find this super important website that is the only proof I ever had a conversation with THE Robyn!” Oh, but guess what? I just did, because did you guys know I’m the best at Googling? Like, literally it took me two minutes the other day to find a guy that a friend had a crush on based on only his first name and a store he used to work at in New York City, which, if you didn’t know, is a very large place full of Paul’s who sell wine. ANYWAY! Here is where Robyn wanted us all to go. Isn’t it great?

THE END.