Don’t Tell My Boys I Love This Song
by Rich Santos
Rich Santos considers himself an expert on music, but totally clueless about dating. It makes perfect sense, therefore, that he’s the dating blogger for Marie Claire. After years of writing what he doesn’t know, he’s branching out to write a little about what he (thinks) he knows: music, comfort food, time-wasting tactics, sports, how to pull off a C average in school, ’80s movies, fishing/pool/bourbon (he wishes). He still makes (speaking of bad dating practices) mix CDs for women he dates. For The Hairpin, he will be posting songs to make mix tapes (sounds cooler than mix CD) that will hopefully draw a laugh, a tear, or both … and maybe help you discover some new music. Stop by, listen, and share your thoughts.
I was introduced to “chick songs” on two separate occasions: While visiting a friend in college, I heard what sounded like more than 50 girls in a dorm room screaming “Son of a Preacher Man” to one another like banshees, and at my first bring-a-date party, my date tossed me aside like a piece of trash to run into the middle of the dance floor with her sorority sisters to scream “Build Me Up Buttercup.” I stared in bewilderment with the rest of the guys at the carrot tray.
My conflict: I’m secretly obsessed with those songs and more than a few other songs I don’t usually talk about with my guy friends. And by “obsessed” I mean that at least one of these three things have happened:
❤ — I can agree with the message. Preach on, sister! G — I’ve played this on guitar (alone, of course…with bourbon). :( — I’ve cried at least once listening to this song (bourbon was probably involved, too). If my guy friends knew this, they’d tear me a new one (bourbon or no bourbon). So, consider yourself lucky I’m willing to share these guilty pleasures with you.
“Part of Your World,” sung by Paige O’Hara (❤, :(, G) The Little Mermaid, Composed by Alan Menken/Howard Ashman, Walt Disney Records, 1989
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn4vh5xtQRU
I feel ya, Ariel, I feel ya. In high school, I couldn’t wait to get my license and get out and explore the world. The proverbial “up where they walk, up where they run, up where they play all day in the sun” was anywhere that was not my crammed and boring bedroom or near my nagging parents, and I’ve posted an orchestral version of this song that absolutely tears me apart every time I hear it. The song is indeed beautifully written and can be arranged so many ways. (NOTE: I now realize that being at my parents’ house, constantly fed and with nothing to do, is amazing).
“Heart and Soul,” by T’Pau (❤, G) Bridge of Spies, Virgin Records, 1987
Love the way the vocals weave in the verses. This is a catchy song, but the singer needs to work on her dance moves. I would assume most of you love her boots/tights combo look, though, yes/no?
“Angel of the Morning,” by Juice Newton (❤, G) Juice, Capitol Records, 1981
“Just call me angel of the morning…then slowly turn away…I won’t beg you to stay…with me.” I feel like it’s a preamble to a walk of shame. My worst walk of shame occurred one February in college after waking up on the floor of a common room between three dorms, not knowing the name of the girl who’d left me there. I’ve been in Juice’s place many times: I like a girl but the girl just wants to make out and isn’t looking for anything serious. Juice really rips it up vocally in this tune.
“Only Time,” by Enya (:(, G)
A Day Without Rain, Warner Music, 2000
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0NoHN1TU5I
This song sounds like it should be sung in a huge and sunny cathedral. Not too into the lyrics, because “time will tell” isn’t particularly revolutionary, but, big picture, it’s a beautiful tear-jerker.
“I Love You Always Forever,” by Donna Lewis (❤, :(, G) Now In A Minute, Atlantic, 1995
Weakness for cheese is a disease we’re all afflicted with from time to time, and all we can do is aggressively own it, which is what I did when I bought this CD single. But that disco-ish ending section has seriously well written chords…trust me, I’ve struggled over my guitar with them. Yeah, I’ll say it.
“We Belong,” by Pat Benatar (❤, G) Tropico, Chysalis Records, 1984
I’m impressed that a primarily electronic song has the nerve to stick an acoustic guitar in the measures leading up to each chorus. Plus Pat Benatar delivers a great vocal performance. And I’m not the only dude who likes this song (obviously): I used to steal my roommate’s Pat Benatar’s Greatest Hits CD and listen to this on repeat. I didn’t get laid much in college.
“Lost In Emotion,” by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
Spanish Fly, Columbia Records, 1987
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwm-oNFEC9I
The video is charming — the state fair scene, full of late-‘80s romance. Classic.
What’s a guilty pleasure you’ve caught someone enjoying or been caught enjoying yourself? And wow, did I really try to learn all these songs on guitar??
Previously: Karaoke Failures.
Rich Santos also Tweets at RichRavens.