Being North Dakota

Hairpin pal — and occasional question-answering Dude — Abe Sauer wrote a book. Called How to Be: North Dakota — A Guide to the Plains, it is a funny book “for everyone who has looked at the vast expanse of Ole and Lena jokes and asked, ‘Is that it?’” It also “offers regional history and culture through lessons and activities about becoming ‘North Dakotan.’ Combining local humor with universal appeal, it is the perfect gift for a native, a state rival, a new parent, or any American looking to laugh and learn about a state that’s more than ‘the top Dakota.’” See? For everyone. Plus there are drawings by the always wonderful Amy Jean Porter. (Like the cover, and this one.)

Abe, I have never been to North Dakota, why do I need this book? I trust you that I need it.

Abe Sauer: With this book, you’ll never need to go to North Dakota. And yet, you’ll be able to engage North Dakotans as if you had. All the knowing-the-history-of-Minot without any of the freezing-your-balls-off-in-Minot. Plus, if you do go, it’s a medical fact that laughing can help keep a body warm.

But also, it is good to have some background about the place you’ll someday be as we’ll all viciously fight over the last few American jobs. They’re giving thousand dollar signing bonuses at McDonald’s there. It’s like bizarroworld America.

Whaaat, for real?

Well, actually it’s closer to $400. But it’s $15 an hour to sling burgers.

How to Be: North Dakota is available for $8.95 on Create Space and Amazon, although choose Create Space if you’re flipping a coin. Here is an excerpt.