A Call to DIY: Thanksgiving Garbage Aliens

by Elizabeth Baird

What are you doing with your turkey carcass this year? Just throwing it out? That sounds pretty normal. Using it to make stock for your famous Black Friday turkey pot pies, then composting the remains? Well, look at you. Anyway, whatever your plans, reconsider!

Inspired by the recent revelation that people in Russia keep finding alien corpses that look suspiciously like rotten food, we thought it would be fun (?) to make our own aliens from the dregs of our Thanksgiving meals. And we’d like you to do it, too, if you want! Why should you? Maybe you’re bored because the rest of your family is watching football, or maybe you need a distraction from the heated debate about Occupy Wall Street that your uncle and cousin are having, or maybe you and your cousin are drunk and think it would be funny to leave it in the fridge for other family members to enjoy.

If you’re game, please send photos! We’ll post them in a gallery sometime next week, and the best creation will be sent anonymously to the government in hopes of sparking a top-secret investigation. Will this be fun? Will this be gross? More important, will we be able to harness the magic of the holiday spirit to breathe life into our aliens and make them our friends? Let’s find out.

Elizabeth Baird is the Hairpin’s best New York-based intern.