The Week of October 17–21

– A Dude did not touch your bra, A Lady will feed you sparkling white wine, and A Clean Person wiped down her counter and left (not for good!).

– Things to make: martinis, dandelion ghosts.

– Lauren O’Neal recapped the 2011 International Accordion Festival.

– And Jane recapped the Lindsay Lohan legal saga.

– Will you be going as Sexy Inflammatory Email or Sexy First Edition Old Man and the Sea this Halloween? (Sexy Inflammatory Email About Sexy First Edition Old Man and the Sea?)

– If you missed Fashion Month, here is a guide for the lazy.

Not a hole, Keisha — a valve.

– A sobering look at An intimate portrait is Fun for the whole family!

– Most important, though: Is your frontier boyfriend a scrub?

– Be safe this weekend, don’t let ROSAT hit you, or your friends drink your contacts, Claire.