That Halloween Movie You Should Watch on Netflix Instead of That Non-Halloween Movie Released in…

That Halloween Movie You Should Watch on Netflix Instead of That Non-Halloween Movie Released in Theaters Today

by Bobby Finger

It’s Halloween weekend, so if you don’t want to pay $13 to see one of today’s many new releases, watch one of the many Halloween-ready movies available instantly from Netflix instead. The week’s biggest horror story is that Hocus Pocus isn’t streaming, but the following selections should come close to making up for its absence.

Instead of Anonymous:
If a campy revisionist period action drama isn’t what you expected from the director of Independence Day and 2012, you haven’t been paying attention. A man capable of destroying the planet in the most entertaining ways imaginable is more than qualified to do the same to the Elizabethan Age. Anonymous asks the question, “Have we been fooled all along?” Andrew Fleming’s The Craft is the perfect substitute, because it asks a similar question, though concluding not by proving Shakespeare a fraud, but by proving the existence of witchcraft. Do you remember when Neve Campbell and Rachel True visited Robin Tunney to check on her witchy woman powers, and then Tunney throws back some major shade in the form of a lightning bolt and downed tree branch? Well, all I’m saying is that Robin Tunney is still alive and no other witch has claimed responsibility for Hurricane Irene. Think about it.

Instead of The Rum Diary:
With his role as Paul Kemp, Johnny Depp continues to immerse himself in the characters he plays. He doesn’t merely “act,” he “becomes,” and witches call that kind of spell a “glamour.” These can also be found in Andrew Fleming’s The Craft, as the four girls use glamours to do things like change eye colors, temporarily go blond, and terrify Robin Tunney. So watch The Craft and think about how you’d change your appearance and whether or not your physical ideal looks anything like Fairuza Balk.

Instead of In Time:
In Time tells the story of a future in which time is the only currency, and the lengths at which people will go to avoid running out of it. Time is precious. It is fleeting. We need to appreciate what little we’re given and make the most of every second, because who’s to know when our clock will run out. To keep the quick passage of time in mind, watch The Craft. It’s 15 years old and the only reason it doesn’t feel like all that time has passed is because you’ve been busy watching The Craft.

Instead of Puss in Boots:
Puss in Boots was based on the life of Skeet Ulrich. Watch The Craft.

Previously: “Every single episode of Ghost Whisperer.”

Bobby Finger was just thinking about Casper and how creepy it was when Devon Sawa was all, “Can I keep you?”