Fashion Month for Busy and/or Lazy People

By The Hairpin October 18, 2011

by Nathalie Trepagnier

Are you busy? Lazy? Both? Me too. That’s why I wrote one-sentence reviews of the Spring/Summer 2012 collections.*

The other day I tried to explain to my boyfriend why I follow high fashion, admiring clothes that I will never wear. (This is a good thing, as I’ve already achieved grandma-level ability to spill food all down my front.) For me, the appeal is identical to my interest in sports: Labels are teams that go up and down each year. Models are the professional athletes with short careers, bad pay, a small chance of making it huge, and very specific figures.** By the way, my fantasy team is Fei Fei Sun, Anais Pouliot, Crystal Renn, Jacquelyn Jablonski, Frida Gustavvson, and Nyasha Matonhodze. Holler at me if you wanna play.

There are a lot of great resources for following the shows. Here are my big three:

– Style.com: Complete coverage — reviews and runway shots paired with video clips, so you can see the clothes move, and tell which models need to take another course with Miss Jay. If you like accessories and close-up shots, don’t miss out on the “Details” tab above the review.

– NYMag.com: News and reviews in “The Cut,” as well as the best full-screen shots. Beware the timesuck that is the “Model Manual.” (Oooh, Freja is friends with Daria?)

– Models.com: Definitive model rankings. Check out “MDX” for extra-large shots of a dozen shows; it gives you a much better sense of the atmosphere and the feel of the clothes.

Fashion has a yearlong season, but there are two big games each year. We just wrapped up the Spring/Summer collections in New York, London, Milan, and Paris, and I’ve grouped shows into common tribes.

1950s Femme Print Party

As the immortal Meryl Streep-as-Anna Wintour once said, “Florals … for spring? Groundbreaking.” There were more flowers than ever, but some designers tried out surprising prints, and often matched them with hourglass, sexpot silhouettes.

– Prada: Miuccia served up a mix of cotton-candy hot-rod decals, high-waisted pleated skirts, and the scariest hair and make-up of the season.

– Thakoon: Rockabilly Bollywood: A surprising mashup with vivid prints and intriguing results.

– Dolce & Gabbana: The deliverance of an Italian housewife — from lustful-but-repressed vegetable-printed day dresses, to sexy evening funeral wear for an unloved husband, to the final late-night decadence of rhinestone-encrusted corsets.

Flirty Minimalism

Minimalism has been a persistent trend over the last several seasons, and the Spring/Summer shows added a softer touch to clean lines — a welcome, wearable development.

– Calvin Klein: After seasons mastering a near-clinical minimalism, Francisco Costa has re-embraced the feminine form with peachy nude bias-cut slips, perfect for lying on a chaise lounge and drinking whiskey.

– Cushnie Et Ochs: Sleek fembots in white, pink, yellow, nude, and black. Not inventing anything new, but how much do you want this?

– The Row: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson are legitimate, designing for elegant bohemians who float through life immaculately, or who are so filthy rich they never look at the dry cleaning receipt.

1990s Jocks at German Clubs

Now that we’ve achieved the minimum possible distance for retrospection, the ’90s are back with a vengeance. Mixing athletic fabrics and tough silhouettes, these young designers are hitting a stride.

– Alexander Wang: Deconstructed Sporty Spice proves one thing: Mesh pockets are terrifying.

– Altuzarra: Matrix leather and bucklestraps give way to one of the prettiest/trippiest print combos of the season.

– Gareth Pugh: NSFW birdcage dresses, op art Kylie Minogue cowlnecks, and Jetsons metal peplums for your next Space Future Coolkid Party.

Pretty, Lacy Proper Lady

– Louis Vuitton: Marc Jacobs merged his signature boxy-awkward shapes with pastel, flowers, and lace in a too-cutesy audition for Dior.

– Chanel: Classic cream skirt suits cut by graphic lines, black leather, and mermaid sequins.

– Alexander McQueen: Sarah Burton is the only designer today batting a thousand. She’s never had a bad season — mixing more clothes fit for a princess with laser cut leather masks and exposed breasts.

Cheap(er) and Chic(er)

Some of the best collections were shown by “budget” designers: clothes retailing for hundreds rather than thousands of dollars. I still can’t afford them, but these designers showed inspiring, actually wearable outfits.

– Theyskens’ Theory: Olivier Theyskens is a prodigy slumming it at Theory, but the designer and label have made a winning combination; just ignore the dropcrotch jeans.

– Alexander Wang’s T: I much preferred Wang’s lower-end line. Simple, clean, beautiful.

– J. Crew: The best styling of the season. (Not even kidding.)

Best Color Combinations

One great reason to follow high fashion even if you hate the shapes, and hate the fabrics, and hate the style? You can still discover some beautiful color palettes.

– Rodarte: If you’ve ever wanted to look like a Monet painting, here’s your chance. (Even if you don’t, try lavender and spring green paired together.)

– Burberry Prorsum: Christopher Bailey taught a master class in pattern, embellishment, and proportion, featuring knee length skirts and pom-pom caps — one of the few shows where I wanted every piece.

– Haider Ackerman: Louche raw silk and blousy sheer scarves. Perfect outfits for smoking hash with Oscar Wilde in Morocco.

Least Favorites and Most Favorites

I’m not a “fashion professional” so I feel presumptuous declaring anything best or worst. That said, please argue with me in the comments.

Ummm… so, not my favorite:

– Marc Jacobs: I know he’s the MVP and probably going to Dior and all, but I really didn’t like his cellophane jackets and crotch-eating skirts.

– Michael Kors: The inspiration: Afriluxe. More like Colonialistluxe! Awkward.

– Kanye West: Yes, he designed a collection, and yes, it was what you’d expect — zippers, fox fur, cut-out bandage dresses. Better luck next time, ‘Ye.

Ooooh wow!:

1. Haider Ackermann
2. Calvin Klein
3. Burberry Prorsum
4. Alexander McQueen
5. Jil Sander — Raf Simons makes me want to be a minimalist bride.
6. Lanvin — Didn’t fit neatly into any category, but the very huggable Alber Elbaz killed it as usual.
7. Jason Wu — Designer-to-the-first-lady had a slightly edgier take on chiffon. Still beautiful.
8. Prabal Gurung — Metallic purple and chiffon — my heart sings!
9. Marchesa — For all the good witches of the world.
10. Band of Outsiders — Preppy but hip; great real-world inspiration.