The Week of August 29 — September 2

Another week bites la poussière!

– This week A Dude was very understanding about mother/son relations, A Lady knows about racing stripes, and A Clean Person fell asleep with her head against the wall. Plus: Drag in some revolting garbage off the street, says A Femme.

– Achieve everlasting hydration.

– Jane isn’t available to tell you how to look pretty or spend your money, because she’s driving to California. HI JANE. Jaaane. Jane.

– What’s better than white zinfandel on Labor Day? Oh, everything?

– Is your man a scrub? An American history lesson inside a TLC concept. There was a youngish man who thinks he’s fly, perhaps he’ll die, perhaps he’ll die.

– Hopefully no one slept on … Floors in Art! Will someone play Floors in Art at their Bachelorette/Labor Day party this weekend?

– Congratulations to “I told [my boyfriend] I was too old to have children, but he said we could just use your eggs.”

– Get your dental dams out, and prepare to be a WIFE.

– White pants, let’s go!