It’s a While Until Breaking Dawn Comes Out

So, let’s cleanse our palates by exploring old, infrequently-updated, heavily frame-based websites by people who think they’re actually vampires.

Or people who think they’re actually slayers. Whatever. It’s all good. The late 1990s was an embarrassing time for many of us.

The bummer, of course, is that most of these websites have a “How Do I Become a Vampire” page, and when you click on it, it’s all PSYCH, WE CAN’T DO THAT THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS, and then you slink off into the night.

(Apparently, you can also be a “psychic vampire,” as opposed to the more customary sanguinarian vampire, which means you just feed on energy/life-force. It seems to be that thing you invariably decide your ex-boyfriend is, and talk about it incessantly until your friends write to Lucinda Rosenfeld about you.)