“If that horse-drawn carriage rides by my store, I will make sure my kids do not see it”

“To pronounce someone ‘spouse and spouse’ would be difficult for me,” he said.

SEND THIS MAN TO HENRY HIGGINS, STAT! A mouthful of marbles and some sprightly songs, and there will be gay dudes married to each other all over Queens.

(For serious, though, that guy is trying, but this story is kind of a downer.)