Excerpts From the Owner’s Manual for My New Microwave Oven
by Samantha Fox
Page 3: This microwave is not approved or tested for marine use.
Page 4: Warning! Arcing: Arcing is the microwave term for sparks in the oven.*
[*Author’s note: It comes across that “microwave” is its own language, no?]
Page 6: Do not use the microwave to dry newspapers.
Page 28: Note that a microwave cake is not placed on a cooling rack.
Page 32 (Heading): Things That Are Normal With Your Microwave Oven
Page 33: What GE Will Not Cover: 1) Service trips to your home to teach you how to use your product.
When she’s not studying microwaves, Samantha Fox is a PhD student in Anthropology.