I Got a Blendtec!

No, really. As in, “will it blend?” Those trippy videos? Now I can get into streetfights with people who own Vita-Mixes.

You can make soup hot just by Blendtec’ing it, BECAUSE OF SCIENCE — HEAT SCIENCE.

Anyway, if this is anything like yoga or knitting or jogging or flossing, I’m going to be all I MAKE KALE SMOOTHIES EVERY GODDAMN DAY LOOK AT HOW HEALTHY I AM for about…two weeks? (Thanks, Liz Lemon.)

It was a present. I’m not crazy.