The Two Best Parts of A New Kind of Monster, Timothy Appleby’s Fine Book About Southern Ontario’s…

The Two Best Parts of A New Kind of Monster, Timothy Appleby’s Fine Book About Southern Ontario’s Most Recent Serial Killer

(Technically, he’s not a serial killer, because he got caught after his second victim, and apparently It Takes Three, but he totally would have been a serial killer if left to his own devices.)

The salient points:

1. This sentence is clearly the Canadian variant of “neighbors report he was quiet and kept to himself”:

Perhaps most striking of all, he was unknown at the Tim Hortons outlet at the Sulphide Road cutoff on the outskirts of town, which led up to his nearby home on Cozy Cove Lane.

2. How, might you ask, did the commander of a busy Canadian Air Force base find time for two murders, two forcible confinements, and at least eighty-two underwear-motivated burglaries, considering his high-quality job performance? And considering the thousands of photos and videos he took of himself wearing the fruits of burglaries with eerily-correct military posture?

According to the author, he didn’t spend all his time dicking around on Facebook, and he made the sort of concerted, disciplined use of his BlackBerry for work correspondence that we all aspire to.

Makes you think.