Sometimes State Flags…
by Caity Weaver
1. Sometimes state flags run out of red marker before they’re finished. (Tennessee)
2. Sometimes state flags have aspirations of being limited edition vinyl release indie rock album covers. (California)
3. Sometimes state flags try to do too much. (Oregon, front and back)
4. Sometimes state flags don’t try to do enough. (North Carolina)
5. Sometimes state flags practican el Español. (Montana)
6.Sometimes state flags do this ironically. (Wyoming)
7. Sometimes state flags look like Chinatown knock-offs of other flags. (Hawaii)
8.Sometimes state flags experiment with Islam. (South Carolina)
9. Sometimes state flags take things too literally. (Washington)
10. Sometimes state flags wish they’d gone to a prep school. (Nevada)
11. Sometimes state flags wish they were superheroes. (Arizona)
12.Sometimes state flags thought you said “space flags.” (Alaska)
13. Sometimes state flags are dropping a lot of hints that they want you to ask about that cruise they took to Puerto Rico. (Texas)
14. Sometimes state flags just bought this tanktop from Urban Outfitters, do you like it? (New Mexico)
15. Sometimes state flags are really badass. (Oklahoma)
16. Sometimes state flags are really sweet. (Rhode Island)
17. Sometimes state flags combine pelicans with vampirism. (Louisiana)
18. Sometimes state flags only came to this party because they thought you would have Pinot Grigio. (Connecticut)
19. Sometimes state flags “work it” and “throw shade.” (Delaware)
20. Sometimes state flags honor the forgotten sixth Spice Girl, Circum Spice. (Michigan)
21. Sometimes state flags honor murderous severed limbs. (Massachusetts)
22. Sometimes state flags don’t make effective use of their space, due to low self-esteem. (Idaho)
23. Sometimes state flags put the longest word upside down. (Illinois)
24. Sometimes state flags were so excited to use up their gold star stickers, they forgot what they were doing. (Indiana)
25. Sometimes state flags are avec serifs. (Iowa)
26. Sometimes state flags lack ambition. (North Dakota)
27. Sometimes state flags just want to be gently caressed by a bear. (Missouri)
28. Sometimes state flags just want to be gently caressed by a bro. (Kentucky)
29. Sometimes state flags are keeping it casual. (Maine)
30. Sometimes state flags hurt to look at. (Maryland)
31. Sometimes state flags look like images that cannot be displayed. (Alabama)
32. Sometimes state flags are so glad you called on Alabama first. (Florida)
33. Sometimes state flags look like reverse shadow optical illusions. (Nebraska)
34. Sometimes state flags just finished watching Ken Burns’ The Civil War. (Mississippi)
35. Sometimes state flags take a lot of tries to get it right. (Georgia — this is its eighth)
36. Sometimes state flags oversell. (Minnesota)
37. Sometimes state flags undersell. (Colorado)
38. Sometimes state flags sail their ships by land. (New Hampshire)
39. Sometimes state flags wake to find the severed head of their prized racehorse in bed with them. (New Jersey)
40. Sometimes state flags advocate weaponry for the blind. (New York)
41. Sometimes state flags added a sunflower at the last minute. (Kansas)
42. Sometimes state flags tell rather than show. (South Dakota)
43. Sometimes state flags feature prancing ponies. (Pennsylvania)
44. Sometimes when state flags were being cut, the tailor accidentally started snipping along a diagonal and then it was too late to fix it so he just decided to just embrace this accident and hope no one noticed but then everyone noticed. (Ohio)
45. Sometimes state flags name drop. (Arkansas)
46. Sometimes state flags are just so Vermont. (Vermont)
47. Sometimes state flags are surprisingly good at wrestling. (Virginia)
48. Sometimes state flags have lovely feminine touches. (West Virginia)
49. Sometimes state flags are brought to you by Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. (Wisconsin)
50. Sometimes state flags were designed by bees. (Utah)
Caity Weaver just graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with a degree in Linguistics. She is an asset to any quizzo team.