Shut Up, I Stopped Biting My Nails

Which, you know, was the worst idea I ever had, because now I spend half my day digging under them with credit cards and book cover edges in a vain attempt to keep them clean. Are everyone else’s nails this filthy? Was I just constantly ingesting this dirt for the last twenty-eight years?

I honestly want to know if I’m doing something wrong. Is this why people wear dark nail polish? Or is there a special way you wash your hands, and I’m like Kramer trying to figure out how to shower like other people?

Photo via Flickr