Sexually Frustrated Wife Turns Herself In

“Basically I slapped him this morning because he wouldn’t have sex with me, and he hasn’t had sex with me in a couple of months, so I slapped him across the face and he wants me to go to jail.”
 — A woman in South Carolina preemptively called 911. (SIGTSWMOIGTCYFT, but that’s maybe too easy. MHIGTSWMOIGTCYFT?) This is a sad story. When the cops showed up, though, the husband claimed it never happened. [Via]