How to Not Sleep With a Particular Person You Keep Sleeping With

by Wilma P.

1. Delete his phone number.

2. Also delete all text messages and call records. Leave no trace.

3. Look at you, not giving a fuck. Let’s drink to celebrate your devastating power and confidence.

4. Let’s keep on drinking to how confident you are, it’s really confident.

5. Random fact, did you know you could go through your old phone bills online and see what numbers text messages were sent and received from? What? No, no reason.

6. Time machine.

Wilma P. is a mess.