Friday Bargain Bin: What to Do With Your Allowance This Week

OK, this week I only want half of this stuff. The other half I just need visitation rights to.

Animal Earbuds, $7.99 (were $16)
These make my deep inner-earholes feel zingy and itchy just looking at them, but they’d be so cute on YOU! (Note what different, special snowflakes the two reviewers are. I bet they’re sisters.)

Sheer Geometry Pullover, $69.95 (was $138)
I already have every version of this shirt imaginable, so what’s one more? A COMPLETE COLLECTION is what.

Design Ideas Glass Bottle Garland, $12.99 (was $19)
What are you going to fill these with?

Marimekko Ruutukaava Sheet Sets, $26.95 — $74.95 (were $44.95-$149.00)
Dear Dudes,
If I came over to your house for an after-dinner drink and had to walk by your room to go pee or whatever and I saw these, I would run right back and be like, “Excuse me, I’ll slip into something more comfortable. Like your bed.”

Tisbury Bucket Bag, $19.99 (was $49.50)
My bag like this from Muji is disintegrating.

Petal Power Plantable Seed Paper, $5.99 (was $14)
What the fuck is this product even talking about being? Someone purchase and report back, please.

Red Mesa Belt, $19.95 (was $42)
If a belt is ever on sale at Anthropologie, just buy it. Shhh… shhh… just buy it. Shhh…

Papier-mâché Bananas from Haiti, $3.97 (were $16)
I already have a Haitian papier-mâché rhinoceros head that doesn’t quite go with these, but you should start your collection.

Spirit Airlines Sale, $19 and up!
I’m scared to fly Spirit because they’re almost too cheap, know what I mean? But if you are a normal person, you should go on a vacation for basically free right now. Sale ends tonight.

Bunny Egg Cozies, $12 (were $54 for some reason!?)
If you have any idea why these are described as “practical” then you should probably take advantage of this incredible deal?

Steven Alan Colorblock Anorak, $39.99 (was $79)
I’ll take the red one. No, wait, the blue one. No! The red one. For sure. Or the blue one.

Low Duo The EP of Fear and Failure, £1.50
I just bought this brand new and lovely five-song EP by a couple of brothers for two pounds, which is who-knows-how-much other than exactly half a pound more than the asking price. Very generous, I know.

Braided Strap Floppy Straw Hat, $4.50 after additional discount (was $12.50)
Tons of sale stuff is reduced another 25% once it’s in your cart at CharlotteRusse.com. Go crazy! (But please avoid the ho-bag tube dresses, Mom.)

Cargo Safari Collection, $34 ($89 value)
BeachBlush used to be my favorite bronzer/blush product before they stopped carrying it at Sephora, but looky here! You get a full-sized one, which is usually $28, and a whole bunch of other stuff for six dollars more. And by “you” I mean “me.”

Rosanna Initial Coffee Mug, $6.97 (was $20)
If you or someone you love enough to buy them presents has a name that starts with A, B, C, D, J, K, L, M, N, R, S, or T, today is your lucky day. Sorry Edith. High-five, Nicole!

Ruby Rox Bandage Dress, $41.30 (was $59)
OK, judging by what I’ve seen on The Real Housewives, once you put on one of these Hervé Leger-style dresses, it becomes nearly impossible to stay off the pole. Proceed with caution.

Jane Feltes produces the radio program “This American Life.”