Eat Lobster

It’s one of those days! Wanna get chatty about something? Something summery? Something that clicks around on your floor after you buy it and let it out onto … your floor? That’s right, the lobster. The living, breathing (?), loving, laughing lobster, the most delicious of all scorpion- and spider-shaped animals. Except for crabs! Those are good, too. Soft-shell crabs, mmm. Fry one up, make a sandwich. But no, the lobster. There’s only one real way to eat a lobster, and that’s to boil water, drop your live lobster in headfirst while you scream “oh my god,” and slam the lid on top. Five minutes later is when it’s supposed to be done, but that seems suspiciously soon, and IT IS OH MY GOD the legs are still moving, so wait another five or seven minutes, and then it’s all nice and still, so you crack it open and dip its flesh into liquefied butter, and that is how you eat a lobster. Lobster rolls are for idiots.

Here are some fun lobster facts to tell your friends. Or, share a lobster fact if you know one (1).