Canadians: Not Yet Sexy Enough to Dominate in Mock Trial Summits

From an absurdly touching little piece in today’s Globe and Mail on the plucky team from Mississauga vigorously attempting to overcome a few hundred years of our dry, tightly-reasoned legalistic tradition in order to compete with hopped-up New Yorkers raised on DUH DUH DUH:

“I’ve sat in mock trials in Ontario where at the end the judge would say, ‘Your hand gestures, you did a bit too much of it, it was a little bit distracting,’ ” said the team’s coach and law teacher, Anthony Clarizia. “Down there, they’re actually telling the kids, ‘We want it to be just like Law & Order.’ ”

Excelsior, young Canadians! They may take your Michael Bay trophy, but they cannot take your excessive civility.