A Rebuttal to the Modern Meanings of Flowers
by Joshua Siegel
Red roses: “I gave you flowers!”
Carnations: “I gave you totally acceptable flowers!”
Daisies: “I gave you flowers!”
Orchid: “I gave you flowers!”
Stargazer Lilies: “I gave you flowers!”
Mums: “I gave you flowers!”
Peonies: “I gave you flowers that I had never heard of previously!”
Hydrangeas: “I’m gay. I gave you flowers!”
Calla Lilies: “Here are flowers, flowers that I gave you!”
Gladiolas: “Seriously? I gave you flowers!”
Sunflowers: “I gave you gigantic flowers!”
Tulips: “I gave you flowers!”
Mixed bunch: “”I gave you mixed, pretty flowers!”
A Corsage: “OK, I should not have given you these specific flowers.”
Joshua Siegel is a freelance writer and aspiring international relations worker who lives in Brooklyn.