So! You Want to Get Married!

Are you one of those young woman whose head is constantly occupied with thoughts of finding — and keeping — a husband? Then there is no better place to turn than the pages of Dorothy Fremont Grant’s 1947 book for young Catholic women, So! You Want to Get Married! It’s chock full of advice for attracting the right type of boy and tips for playing the role of wife so well that he will never want to leave you, not even for his secretary. So! You want to take a look!

Do no proceed unless you are certain you’re an adult. Next step, consider your future husband from all angles.

OK, you “probably love him.” Now think about the ways you can ensure he finds you attractive enough to marry.

Hmm, what kinds of things land you in the rogues’ gallery?

I guess so? You’d better keep your lips to yourself, and also watch what you wear.

No claws. Check. No pants. Check. But what about when we go for a swim?

Simple enough. Now, assuming you haven’t turned yourself into a guinea pig, congratulations, you win a husband!

Uh oh, wait, what? Now you must set about the business of making sure your marriage to this annoying man does not crumble. Here are some rules to follow:

No whining.

Hats: do not even ask.

Nobody loves a side-show freak.

Wait, I thought we were supposed to not even kiss before marriage? So how do we know that love-making before marriage was… sweet cream? Hmm, but that’s good advice about the dinner. Speaking of cooking, spend some time thinking about how things will run in your family.

What kind of person would want to go “contrary to nature”? Certainly not you.

Well there you and you and you have it. Go forth and seek your wedded bliss!

[Thanks for the book, Meegan!]