Relationshapes!

By The Hairpin June 16, 2011

by David Rees

This is the final installment of Relationshapes. Don’t pour yourself a drink; don’t slip into something comfortable. Just take a deep breath and remember this moment.

Thanks to reader Rachel P. for this lovely shape!

I’ve been busy cleaning out Relationshapes HQ. I boxed up my trusty answering machine a few days ago — it was filled with messages from VIPs, celebrities, world leaders, and CEOs, all begging me to renege on my solemn pledge to end the comic. Too bad: I’m a man of my word, and until someone pays me $3,250 I will never make another Relationshapes.

There was one final message I wanted to share with you, though:

BEEEP!

“Hello, is this Relationshapes? My name is Dr. Williams from MIT’s geometry lab. We are all big fans of your comic. The shapes you use are … very advanced. In fact they’re more sophisticated than anything our supercomputers have made. We believe you are something called a ‘Shape Genius.’ Would you be interested in a full tenured professorship here at MIT? You could run our graduate program in Radical Emotional Geometry. We have lots of faculty parties with cheese, crackers, white wine, and classical music. I think you’d fit right in! So please call me back. (WHISPERED) I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Yippee, I’m going to be a professor!