Gwyneth Wants You to Get It Together

“[Gwyneth] pointed at my tummy and said, ‘What’s going on here? I love you. Get it together.’”
 — When Gwyneth Paltrow loves you, she’s not afraid to tell you you’re fat. (Then poof! Your Fairy Goopmother snaps her fingers, and you magically lose 40 pounds and turn into the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig.)