Which Knockoff American Girl Doll Are You?

If you have a child but don’t want to shell out the hundred dollars required for an American Girl Doll (thus denying him/her the opportunity to truly live), consider a Carpatina Doll, which is the same size, comes with trunkfuls of historical clothing and accessories, and costs between $69 and $89, depending on the elaborateness of its base outfit. Plus you can buy Carpatina boy dolls Adam and Carter.

[Silence.]

There are suits and knight outfits for Adam and Carter to wear, and although they don’t come with historical books about them the way American Girl Dolls do, they do have character bios.

For instance,

Adam’s handsome, determined face speaks to his fiery spirit. Along with his sister Ana Ming and friend Carter, he travels to realms of fantasy on marvelous adventures. There the daring, impetuous dreamer of heroics becomes a hero. With light brown hair and hazel eyes, Adam has the classic good looks to capture hearts in any era.

Carter balances his love of books and history with an impressive prowess for sports. That mix of agile mind and body serves him well on magical quests with his friend Adam. Carter’s straightforward good looks reflect his honesty and intelligence. With dark brown hair and arresting blues eyes, he’s the image of quiet bravery.

You think you’re a Carter, don’t you?

There are also six girl dolls, like Julia, who’s “too impatient to dress her hair,” and thus “lets it flow down her back in long chestnut waves.” And Zoe, who, “with gleaming long blonde hair, sapphire eyes, and rosebud lips,” has “heard often enough that she should be a model.” The best one to be, though, is Veronika, who’s actually “a visitor to the past through the gift of a magic moonstone” and “is a vision as striking as any she witnesses.” Speaking of magic moonstones, you can buy your own for $8, which seems like a lot until you read this non-erotic bit of potential erotica.

The dolls are also on Twitter.