The Week of May 2–6

– A Lady helped us get over heartbreak; A Dude explained why he’s so sweaty; and A Clean Person got drunk and let us smoke cigarettes in her house.

– How to walk in heels, find good tights.

– Jen Doll took some asshole to the hospital.

Read Lonesome Dove! It’ll be your best friend.

– Has Michelle Obama lost the ability to Dougie? Let’s check back.

– Movie suggestions for Royal Wedding withdrawal.

– The ruby-and-gold ring from 1580 has changed some of our lives.

– “You can strokewatch. But if you use binoculars you are weirder than we are.”

The First Cut Is the Cheapest: Do-It-Yourself Butchery With Sheryl.

– New Yorkers: Come to our party on May 19!