Some Questions I Asked My Gynecologist

By The Hairpin May 10, 2011

by Arianna Stern

1. What do you mean when you say “lesion-y”?

2. How can I tell if I found a lump, or if I just forgot where my nipples
were?

3. Have you heard of that thing that’s like Rorschach blots, but with period stains?

4. Within the standard nine-month period, how many consecutive times can I get pregnant before my uterus reaches capacity?

5. Is there a huge difference between birth control pills and the chewable Flinstones vitamins I’ve been taking? No, right?

6. On a scale of 1–10, how symmetrical am I on the inside?

7. How much does vajazzling reduce your chances of a yeast infection?

8. How come everyone else gets laid more?

Previously: Things Facebook Has Suggested to Me Offline.

Arianna Stern wants to reenact the rose petal scene from American Beauty, but with seaweed snacks.

1. Bye