Another Day, Another Way to Lose Weight

“[The tongue patch is] a new procedure in which a roughly one-inch-by-one-inch square of mesh is sewn onto a person’s tongue. Unlike the nicotine patch, this patch contains no chemicals or medicine. Instead, it merely sits there and makes it difficult — and even painful — to eat solid food.”
 — In 100 years, when the Earth is a barren wasteland, and children who go to high school on the moon are learning about the fall of our civilization, this little mesh square will probably be one of the examples their teacher gives of how we’d become so morally corrupt and deranged that we were incapable of making good decisions about even the most basic things.