The Royal Wedding Live Blog

Hello and welcome to The Hairpin’s Royal Wedding Live Blog. Who knows what’s even going to happen today!

4:55 a.m.: Good morning! Guests are filling up Westminster Abbey just the way I’m filling my body up with coffee. Yay! I’m so excited! What channel’s everyone on? I’m on CBS. -EZ

5:01 a.m.: It’s “a bit chilly” in London, and it looks overcast. The lady guests are wearing their crazy hats. “This is the most equal royal wedding that’s evah bean.” (Education levels.) “Who’s she asking, who’s she asking,” the commentary team hiss to one another in response to Katie Couric’s questions. Everyone’s all keyed up! “I believe Kanye West was invited because Prince William really likes his music,” but he’s apparently not — ohh it’s Posh and Becks!! -EZ

5:13 a.m.: Princes in their prince car! Screams can be heard “all the way to Buckingham Palace — that’s how excited these people are to see these princes.” -EZ

5:16 a.m.: OK I changed to NBC!!! -EZ

5:21 a.m.: I am here now too!! My coffee isn’t ready yet, but I am so excited that William and Harry are arriving that maybe I don’t even need it!! They look so cute and kind of nervous. Did Harry not brush his hair? Love it. -CM

5:25 a.m.: “Both brothers are sporting a bit of hat head.” I don’t know, they both look really CUTE! Ahhh. CASSIE! Oh my god who do you think is cuter? Also, “William will lit’rally be the last man on earth to see the dress.” -EZ

5:33 a.m: Carole Middleton is looking so good. I like her hat. OH KATE’S BROTHER! I didn’t even know she had a brother. Is he a bad boy? Matt Lauer says he’s had “an up and down time” with the press. He runs a cake business? I want to know more about this guy. -CM

5:40 a.m.: Here come Charles and Camilla! (In a car.) Oh my god, here’s a Duchess who — the Duchess of Kent — used to be agoraphobic, never recovered from losing a child 17 years ago, and now ignores her title and prefers to go simply by “Kate.” Royalty! Crazy. She’s toughing it out and putting on a brave face at the wedding, though. Holy smokes.

WHAT IS THAT?! The flesh colored fascinator (or just regular hat?) on the daughter of the Duke of York (Beatrice) is like some … albino snake nest. OMG THE QUEEN IS WEARING YELLOW. OK. OK. This, no joke, is truly thrilling. I don’t know. -EZ

5:46 a.m.: Charles and Camilla made it safely to the church. Thank God! Camilla looks a bit stiff, but I love her, and I’m glad she and Charles can spend their golden years together. Anyway, she’s wearing Jimmy Choo shoes, which seems to be the official shoe sponsor of this wedding. -CM

5:50 a.m.: THE QUEEN ARRIVETH! She’s in an adorable sunny dress and hat. Also, maid-of-honor Pippa Middleton’s hair is down — can that be a sign?! Oh my god OK — THERE SHE IS I SEE HER, KATE, SHE LOOKS PRETTY OH MY GOD THERES DEFINITELY A VEIL AND THERE’S THE DRESS IT’S LACE-TOPPED IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL WITH LONG LACE SLEEVES. -EZ

5:57 a.m.: OK, she’s in a tiara as well. She looks gorgeous. Also, I am drenched in sweat. -EZ

6:05 a.m.: There are child bridesmaids!!! What if one of them wanders off script and does something hilarious? They are very cute though, so it’s probably worth the risk. Ahh, the little tiny ones in the front!!! And PIPPA! Not sure how I feel about bridesmaids wearing white dresses, but that dress is hot.

And HERE IS KATE!!! OMG OMG OMG. She looks so beautiful. Sarah Burton designed the dress, and there is so much of it. And the tiara too. It’s all so dignified-looking and perfect. Oooh, I just got really nervous/excited for her. I think I am having a heart palpitation. I love that Pippa carried her train up the steps. What a nice sister. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Here we go!!!!!! -CM

6:12 a.m.: It’s all going so fast! I can’t handle this. -EZ

6:16 a.m.: Vows exchanged. God, William looks handsome. I really don’t have much to say. It’s unexpectedly affecting. -EZ

6:26 a.m.: William has never looked more handsome to me — especially when he talks. Swoon. And now they are marrieeeeeeed. And, wait, Harry, where are you going?? Why can’t you just stand next to them for the whole wedding?

OK, so now the vows are done, and there’s still like 40 minutes of wedding left. Hmm. Oh, cute, her dad just wiped sweat off his brow. It must be crazy to be turning your daughter into an actual princess. That was a very long hymn. But Kate is looking more and more relieved every second. Now her brother is speaking. There’s something a bit rapscallion-y about him. Color me intrigued. -CM

6:33 a.m.: Now we can relax. Did I mention I’m pouring sweat? These singing children are beautiful. It’s all very lovely. I can only imagine what — oh there’s a hot choir singer. On the left, dark hair, bags under his eyes kind of? Scruffy. -EZ

6:39 a.m.: I like those nuns sitting off to the side. -EZ

6:44 a.m.: Hot choir singer! On the left! -EZ

6:50 a.m.: The personal grooming habits of these various priests or bishops or whatever they are is curious. The one guy has wild hair and unruly eyebrows that actually come up and poke out from behind his glasses. Would it be so hard to get a haircut for THE ROYAL WEDDING? Anyway, time for more singing. I cannot get enough of Elton John singing along. -CM

6:58 a.m.: So they hired a lip reader to decipher what William said to Kate and her father on the altar that made them laugh, and apparently it was “We were supposed to have just a small family affair.” Ahh, I love him. I am IN love with him. -EZ

7:05 a.m.: THE CARRIAGE! Kate and Wills suppress adorable smiles as they emerge from the wedding registry closet or whatever and walk down the aisle toward their carriage. Man. Oops, some of the smiles are also a little weird. -EZ

7:13 a.m.: People are going NUTS for the Prince and Princess outside. Pippa and her train carrying duties, still loving it. I wonder if maybe Pippa and Harry should get married? Just a thought. God those crowds really are amazing.

My mom just came into the room. (I’m visiting her in Wisconsin right now, where it is still unbelievably early.) She is very worried that the tiny bridesmaids are going to get cold. Maybe someone will give them cute little coats.

Kate and William are off in their carriage! This really is like a fairytale. It’s weird when something is both real and also a fantasy all at once. Now Meredith Viera is also saying she thinks this is like a fairtytale. We are all agreed that this is a living fairytale. -CM

7:24 a.m.: This is spectacular. The carriages arrive at Buckingham Palace. Kate and Wills look serene and at ease waving to the masses. Ah, there’s some question over whether they’ll be partaking in the traditional champagne toast once they enter the palace, since it’ll be such “a long day” for them, but it is decided that they will almost certainly have “a sip,” at least. Noted. -EZ

7:39 a.m.: “There’s just a joyous feeling.” — NBC commentator. Indeed, there truly is. Everyone seems happy. I am happy, Cassie, are you happy? “Now we are counting down to the kiss.” — Viera. I am so absolutely on board with this. Countdown to the kiss. God, the dress is gorgeous, isn’t it? Everyone agrees. “Sensational, very regal, quite classic. Quite stunning.” (British NBC fashion commentators.) “It felt quite retro, it reminded me of Grace Kelly’s dress. With the lace overlay it’s almost identical to Grace Kelly’s.” Well, not quite, but also — so gorgeous. Both dresses. Oh my god dresses. Just beautiful. Their tiny little waists. -EZ

7:48 a.m.: Edith, I am so happy! Happy for them. Happy for their families. Happy for England. Happy for America that we are friends with England. Happy! Um, Meredith Viera just said “We’ll be right back with William and Kate’s first kiss.” Wow. It seems like they probably have kissed before, but I guess you never know! Ha, NBC has put a Countdown to the Kiss clock up, and Matt Lauer cannot contain his amusement about it. I am wondering whether this kiss is going to be a pecky thing or more of a passionate royal lip embrace. -CM

8:20 a.m.: OK, we took a breather while we counted down to the kiss. Which, by the way, we’re currently at about 4:21 on the official “Countdown to the Kiss” clock up in the corner of the screen. 3:31! 3:23! Will the kiss partially obscure Kate’s face or Wills’? Will it last between 0 and 3 seconds or between 5 and 8? 2:48! 2:41! The crowds are insane. Oh my god and now they’re saying the Kiss Clock might be off?? But my sweat JUST DRIED! -EZ

8:25 a.m. OH MY GOD HERE THEY ARE OH MY GOD -EZ

8:34 a.m.: “I thought you were doing the kiss” “I thought YOU were doing the kiss.” Cassie and I miscommunicate about the greatest moment of our lives, but it was CRUSHINGLY brief. Like, one second. But the crowd chants “kiss, kiss, kiss!” and they do another one, thank god. Prince Charles has a hair moment, citizens are wading in the fountain, everyone is freaking out. Fighter planes fly overhead. -EZ

8:39 a.m.: What now? Do we go to the bar? -EZ

8:42 a.m.: Ooh, a bar… It’s so weird that I have been awake for almost four hours already. Anyway, Meredith and the fashion commentators on NBC just broke it all down, and the one fashion expert is a total underminer. She’s said several times that this dress design wasn’t a typical Sarah Burton design, and it looks more like a Kate Middleton design. I think she might just be one of those people who thrives off of being a negatron, but I am not having any of it because this is such a joyous day and Kate looked gorgeous and perfect and no one is going to ruin this for us! -CM

8:53 a.m.: OK, but do we go to the bar? I’m bringing this child with me. -EZ

(Follow up: There is also a highlights reel.)