Excuse Me, You Have Something on Your Tooth

A wacky English gentleman got tattoos of Prince William and Kate Middleton on his two front teeth. I am sure he did it out of genuine love for the couple and excitement about their upcoming union and not as a desperate bid to get his name all over the internet. But I am really not that interested in his specific tattoo, so I am not even going to tell you his name. (Fine, I will. It’s Barmy Baz Franks. And I only typed it out because it’s catchy and kind of gets lodged in your mind and you can’t stop repeating it. Barmy Baz Franks. Barmy Baz Franks.)

Anyway, about these dental tattoos. I sort of vaguely knew they existed, but hadn’t spent much time thinking about them until right now. And then I googled them and realized that I could get one of Abraham Lincoln, which is really selling me on the idea. Check it out.

Right? It would be so awesome to have that on my right front tooth that sticks out a bit more than my left one. Who’s with me? They only last for a few months, so it’s no big deal to get one. Guys? Guys? Wait, why are you all backing slowly away from me when I smile?