Celebrity Bedtimes
“I love stoner comedies. I smoked weed in college, but I haven’t smoked in years. I’m too old. I wish I was that cool, but I’m like an old lady now. I’m in bed by 10 p.m. I can’t do that anymore.” — Natalie Portman, 29.
Celebrities talking about how early they go to bed are like thin ladies talking about how much they eat. If I were a celebrated young actress I’d go to bed at 3 p.m. and eat lard. Pretty cool, right? Look out, Hollywood.