Take the Joy Out of Cooking

A cutting board for when your dish absolutely has to be perfect because if even one tiny piece of celery is not chopped into an exact 1/4-inch cube the illusion of having your shit together and being a domestic goddess that you’ve worked so incredibly hard to maintain will crumble and you’ll be humiliated in front of all your dinner party guests and you’ll cry so hard your mascara will run down your flawless porcelain face and your whole life will be ruined.

[Via]