Lipstick I Will Eat

by A Pigeon

Ooh, these pretty new lip products — from a synthetic-, paraben-, and sulfate-free new line called Bite Beauty — are made from organic fruit concentrate, resveratrol (the stuff in wine that’s good for you), and … beetles! For coloring, since dyes are out, too. The description on Sephora says they’re made with “ingredients that are healthy enough to eat,” which I can’t tell if that means you can eat the whole thing right away or what.

The lipsticks also come in four colors and four differently shaped tubes, because women who tend toward certain colors apparently like their lipstick tubes to come in certain shapes. Or, to put it in a way that makes less sense, “They basically did a study on how women use lipstick, and the idea for the caps came up because every woman uses her lipstick differently and there’s an organic, natural shape that a favorite lipstick takes on over time.” So says Bite Beauty founder Susanne Langmuir. What style of lipstick tube are you? This is something you’ll want to know before the weekend.

REDS — sharp angled tip
Energetic and impulsive, you are a social butterfly. You’re envied for how well you wear those red shades! Quick, sharp strokes from the heart to the edges of your lips create the distinctly angled mould conveying your contagious passion for life.

NEUTRALS — natural slant
Always calm under pressure, you take your time with things, even when applying your lipstick. Perfectly even, your lipstick moulds into a natural slant which reflects your trustworthy and likeable nature.

PINKS — curved
You prefer to wear pink shades because you’re bright and optimistic. A true romantic, creativity is your strength and draws people towards you. You apply your lipstick in long flowing strokes, producing this smooth angled curve that reflects your cheerful outlook on life.

BERRIES — point
Loveable and curious, you’re a free spirit who enjoys going on an adventure. Your adoration for berry colors reflects your breezy, no-fuss persona. Many call you charismatic, exotic even. You like a shade that is easily worn day or night and you apply your lipstick in a way that creates the double slant of perfect symmetry.

I’m a berry, thank god.