Have Your Wine and Eat It Too: Rosé Jello

It’s finally sunny outside again, and I am once more feeling optimistic that spring might eventually show up. Every year around this time I develop a mighty, mighty craving for nights spent drinking lots of rosé, preferably outdoors at a sidewalk café or in a backyard. To me, rosé is like a magic elixir that always brightens my spirits and never gives me a hangover. I love it! Today it’s a little too cold to be drinking outside, and I also have this idea that maybe it’d be fun to eat wine instead of drink it? Thus, I have decided to make some rosé jello shots. Damn straight! Well, OK, it’s not really a jello shot in the traditional sense, since it won’t get you hammered super fast, and you also probably won’t be wearing a tube top in the Bahamas on spring break when you drink it. Think of it, rather, as a kind of sophisticated blend of dessert and drink — or an elegant wine that you can chew.

This concoction is so delightful and just as easy to make as jello, so there’s really no reason you and your friends shouldn’t eat wine for dinner tonight! And maybe tomorrow night too! You could even put some fruit in it, if you want to get all nutritious about it. This recipe will make 4 servings, but it can be doubled, tripled, quadrupled (and so on) as needed.

Here’s what you need:

-2 packets unflavored gelatin (I used Knox Gelatin, which has 4 packets in each box. Also, if you’re really in the mood for sweetness you can use raspberry or strawberry flavored jello.)

-1 cup of chilled rosé (Since this is really the only flavor you’ll taste, it’s worth getting a bottle of rosé that you actually like. Though obviously don’t get one that’s too $$ because you will, after all, be mixing it with jello!)

-1 cup of water

-4 serving glasses (I used regular wine glasses.)

Here’s what you do:

-Put the cup of the cold rosé in a large bowl and sprinkle the gelatin on top of it. Let it stand for a minute or two.

-Bring the water to a boil, and then pour the boiling water into the bowl.

-Stir it around until the gelatin is completely dissolved.

-Then pour the mixture into whatever glasses you’ll be using. (This will be less messy if you pour the it into a liquid measuring glass or any kind of pitcher first, since pouring directly out of a bowl into a wine glass is no easy feat.)

-Chill the gelatin in the fridge until it’s set, about 4 hours.

Note: You could also, instead of pouring it into glasses, put it into a small pan and chill it that way. Then you could cut the Jell-O up into cubes and serve them as “wine cubes.” Or, OMG, you could cut them out with cookie cutters and serve them as “wine shapes.” OK, it seems like maybe now I’m going to be spending all weekend making and eating various fancy wine shapes…

Abstract Wine Shapes!

Anyway, if you’re using glasses, you can serve it plain or with some berries on top or whipped cream or whatever looks classiest to you — because this “drink” just screams class. I found it easiest to eat with a spoon, but I suppose you could break it all up with a fork and then kind of dump chunks of it back into your mouth if you’re really into the “drinking” aspect. Orrrrrr, you could make a massive batch of this and fill your bathtub with it and then just let it soak in thru your skin.

It looks like a regular glass of wine, but it’s actually jello!

The good news is that you can eat so, so much of this and not really get drunk, but eventually you’ll have had just enough winejello that you’ll get a little goofy and loose. Then you and your friends can enjoy telling each other all of your favorite jello jokes, like this one:

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jello!
Jello who?
Jello, how are you doing?

What? Never mind. Maybe instead you could have a debate about whether that wonderful urban legend about the woman who named her twins Orangejello and Lemonjello because that’s what she was eating in the hospital when she gave birth is actually true. (It isn’t.)

TGIF! Happy wine eating!