Climb That Pole All the Way Up to Heaven

“On Sundays, we do pole fitness for Jesus. We do the upbeat contemporary Christian music because people have to bring their church program to get into the class, so we basically are just continuing the whole worship thing here.” — A woman in Texas who runs a pole dancing for Jesus class. Sounds about right. Doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible something like, “Thou that wearest the stripper heels loveth me the most”?