Beauty Q&A: Perfect Eyebrows, the Nude Lip, and the Julianne Moore

Who has two thumbs and misses her Barbie Big Head? THIS GIRL! Do you love beauty and makeup but are you tired of magazines being all, “You can totally wear aqua paint in your hair!” because, no you can’t? I’m here to give you real, road-tested, hard-hitting beauty advice from the front lines, no holds barred. (Please send all questions here.)

Before we dive in and tackle your most puzzling beauty issues, a note about making up and such, and god I don’t want this to sound daunting! But: Many of us think some people are born with so-called perfect _____ and that for those of us who weren’t, it’s just a matter of finding out the right “trick.” I’m here to tell you that those are both fucking lies. Look, there’s not a hairdresser on the planet who can cut your hair so that you wake up every day with it looking like Victoria’s-Secret-model hair; that’s all in the styling, and it takes time and practice. That actress with the look you want? If she did a good job, you would have to get up early in the morning and stand reaaaaalllly close to her “perfect” face or hair to see all the work she’s done. Silver lining: What this means is that you CAN achieve the look you want if you fiddle around enough, you just have to go for it and think like an artist. Remember when you were learning to draw and your art teacher kept reminding you to draw what you actually see rather than what you think is there or what your brain is filling in? That’s also key when it comes to makeup. Look studiously at Eva Longoria’s awesome eyes you want to copy and you might find that “Wait, is that … no, it CAN’T be! Is that BLUE eyeshadow?” Sometimes it is! Basically, everything is achievable if you’re willing to put in a little effort. Seriously. OK, I think you’re ready for this.

How the F do you make your eyebrows perfect when they’re SO asymmetrical?

You get them shaped by a pro as close to symmetrical and archy as possible, and then you fill back in with eyebrow pencil or powder until they look proper. Luckily fuller brows are in right now (and are pretty much always, if you like they way they look), so it’s OK to draw outside the lines. Don’t worry, if you do it right you won’t look like that crazy lady on the train! I promise.

I have dark brows, one little straight bushy one and one elegant long skinny one, if I’m not on top of my shit. So I use Anastasia’s Perfect Brow Pencil on mine every single day along with plucking strays, and have used their Brow Powder Duo on a fair-haired friend with great success. I basically use the pencil to fill in sparse spots on the thinner brow and to lengthen and define my arch more on the shorter one. If you don’t have a natural arch to follow or feel unsure, Anastasia and Sephore also make templates.

Lastly, my #1 awesome brow secret? When you think you have them even and just right after doing all this stuff, take a very close-up digital photo of your face and check it out. Holy SHIT you will not believe how easy it is to spot errors and, thus, fix them.

I am so confused by mascara. I do NOT understand how other ladies get their lashes looking so good. Is there really a such thing as a mascara that doesn’t clump? Am I supposed to curl my lashes before AND after the mascara? Are all lash curlers built the same? Do curling mascaras really curl your lashes? Why does it look ridiculous to me when I put mascara on my bottom lashes? Are more expensive mascaras any better than cheapies? I could go on but I’m starting to hyperventilate here.

I’m hyperventilating now too! OK, I think what you’re really asking is how to get pretty lashes, right? The first thing I would recommend is to ask the next perfectly lashed woman you see, “What kind of mascara do you use?” Simple as that. Obviously, this is easier if you know the person, so start there. Who is your prettiest-lashed friend? I like feathery, thick-looking ones and have two friends whose lashes I covet: Mackenzie and Jessica. Mackenzie uses Max Factor 2000 Calorie, but now I can’t find it anywhere in NYC, and Jessica uses Maybelline Full ‘N Soft, which is what I’m on now. (Notice these are both drugstore brands! Yay!) So do that: see some lashes you like and ask. We all like different things, so that’s the best I can do as far as pointing you to a specific tube.

When it comes to curling or curling mascaras, the important thing to know is that curling your lashes is less about curliness being attractive than it is about making your lashes visible. When they’re “laying” flat they look significantly shorter to someone facing you than lashes that have been crimped to stand upright, displaying all their length, nahmean?

So for technique, here are some musts:

-Always curl your upper lashes before applying mascara, never after, as they could stick to the curler and get pulled out. Ouch. My fave curlers are by Tweezerman and Mary Kay.

-Full lower lashes are a sign of youth. Always mascara them! I know it looks silly to you but it doesn’t to anyone else as long as you don’t over-do it. If you tear up a lot or cannot train yourself out of rubbing your eyes, use waterproof on the bottom for sure.

-Wipe off any clumps if you see them on the wand, but I’m NOT talking about wet globs, those are actually good. I take the wet globby tip of the applicator and brush it on all my lashes to get a nice thick coat before brushing the brush through to separate my lashes. IS YOUR MIND BLOWN? I learned it from a Dior saleslady who said that is the proper way to use DiorShow, the cult mascara of the uber-dramatic and healthy-paychecked among us. Give it a try some night when no one’s looking.

-And last but not least, no one on Earth is paying as much attention to your lashes as you are. Stop being so hard on yourself and worrying about putting on too much — those with the most gorgeous lashes are often wearing what you might consider a shit-ton of mascara.

I’d like to know how to wear a nude lip without looking like an a-hole.

It’s gonna be tough, by no fault of your own. There are very few things you can do to make a nude lip work, and even if you try everything possible, it’s still a crapshoot. Think about where you’ve seen a good nude lip. I think when we see a normal person in normal makeup wearing a “nude” lip, what they actually have on is a light beigy pink shade. When I want a light lip, I reach for Vincent Longo Original Perfect Shine Lip Gloss in Sophia Rose (it’s what I’m wearing in the first two How To Be A Girl videos — here and here). If you’re still determined to try a true nude, pick up Kevyn Aucoin’s The Elegant Lip Gloss in Vesuvian. It’s the only nude I’ve ever felt good about: a shiny, slightly sparkly yet very nude nude. But you’re not done yet! Only wear a nude lip when doing one of two looks: either a summery, highly bronzed look with bright, colorful eyeshadows OR with a very dramatic smokey eye. Nude makes your lip sort of disappear so play up your other features or you’ll be washed out completely.

Dear Jane, How do you do cat eyes? In the good, Julianne Moore in A Single Man way? And so it actually stays in place? Thaaaanx!

OK, so I Googled this before answering and thank goodness I did! This look is more complicated than you might imagine. When we think “cat-eye” we typically only think of heavy black liner on the upper lid that kind of swooshes out at the sides. That’s it. But Julianne’s makeup in this film has at least 5 other crucial elements that you may not notice if you’re not studying it closely. They are:

– Arched and penciled-in eyebrows.

– Dark shadow (or smudged black eyeliner) in the crease with light/white shadow on the rest of the lid.

– White liner on the inside rim of the lower lashes and at the lash line that extends out past the eye a bit.

– Another line of black eyeliner under the white, a few milimeters beneath your lower lashes that extends, again, beyond your eye.

– Dramatic fake eyelashes on top and heavy mascara on the bottom.

You can see how this all comes together (except the lower lash mascara because she’s not done yet!) beginning at 0:13 of this clip:

And as far as getting makeup to last: use high quality, waterproof gel liner for this look, which you’ll need to apply with a small angled eyeliner brush. Bobbi Brown makes a Long-Wear Gel Eyeliner for about $20, Sephora has a brush for $14. If you have a steady hand and very small brush, you can set your liner with a bit of black powder for more staying power. And always be prepared to reapply after 4 or 5 hours (not that you’ll necessarily need to, but it’s the only surefire way to look freshly made up!).

Previously: Abracadbra — Curl Your Hair With a Styling Wand.

Jane Feltes produces the radio program “This American Life.” Do you have a beauty-related question for her?