And the Most Miserable Person in the Country Is …

“Statistically speaking, the least happy American would be a 4’10”, middle-aged Muslim woman without children who is separated from her husband and earns under $12,000 a year. She’s also an unemployed manufacturing worker in West Virginia.” — But she won’t be so unhappy after she meets Alvin Wong, the [statistically] happiest person in America, and they fall in love, and their story gets make into a movie, and maybe Lindsay Lohan would make her comeback playing the middle-aged woman. Alvin Wong would play himself.