A Present for 29-Year-Olds

A British funeral company asked men and women how they felt about aging, and found that men begin to feel old at 58 — or, when they can’t “perform in the bedroom” and think “music [has] become too loud in bars” — whereas women begin to feel old at 29 — or, when their “assets” droop and they spot their first gray hairs.

It’s unclear how the company will use the information or why they were gathering it, but perhaps death-preparation programs will now be marketed toward 29-year-old women. “Plan your second most special day,” “Are you a funeralzilla,” etc.