Why Do Guys _____? Why Do Girls _____?

A few days ago my boyfriend and I were lying in bed discussing some mysterious function of the male anatomy — no, I CANNOT recall exactly what — so I decided to Google it. Maybe I was drunk or something, but instead of putting the medical term into the search like an ADULT, I started with “Why do guys…” like a 13-year-old moron. Well, 13-year-old morons must be the only people ever Googling that because the Top 10 things Google guessed I was wondering about are:

Why DO guys like breasts!? Whyyy! Also, cheating, lying, and Asians.

Unfortunately none of those were what I was trying to Google (though two were on the right path, but can you guess which two? Haha.)

Here’s what happens with “Why do girls….”

Periods, periods, and blood all over the place. My in-depth and well researched analysis of these outcomes proves that 13-year-old girls are scared of erections and already know that men can be the worst, and that 13-year-old-boys are scared of periods and already know that men can be the worst.

What would the rules be in a Period, Erection, Jerk version of Rock, Paper, Scissors?